How to Choose your Wedding Party

 

This shit is HARD. How do you choose the people that will help you with the wedding process, celebrate you, shell out the money to participate (let’s not beat around this topic, it’s real), and support you and bae forever? I’ve compiled some tips from real life couples to help make this process a bit easier.

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They must support your marriage 1000000%

Okay this seems like a total “duh” point but you’d be surprised. Some people feel pressured to include that friend they’ve had since 4th grade who doesn’t like bae - guess what, this is bad. This will cause so many problems and drama down the line. If Stacy from 4th Grade doesn’t like bae, Stacy from 4th grade doesn’t get to be in the wedding party. This is one of those situations where you have to look at the bigger picture.

They’ll support your every decision, but know when to be real with you if you get out of control.

Real homies only, ya’ll. People in your wedding party won’t make you hate decisions you made but will be real if something seems a little off or over the top. They’ll know when to speak up and when to stfu and accept that it’s not their wedding day. That being said - good friends will know this line and will handle this with grace.

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Chosen friends will all get along, no matter what.

This seems like a "duh" but you'd be surprised by the drama I've seen behind the scenes because one person had beef with another.⁠ If you have one friend that doesn’t get along with the majority of your other friends, this should be a red flag. There’s obviously something off and this will cause more stress than you think.

They’ll say “yes” to standing next to you but also to the money it costs.

Let’s not beat around the bush, being a part of a wedding is expensive. Your friends are saying yes to supporting you but also to the costs that will arise. When you ask, be empathetic to this. Always give your bridal party the option to saying no - this doesn’t mean they don’t like you, they might not be able to swing it. That’s okay, they’ll support you in other ways.

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Don’t just return the favor.

Just because you were in someone else’s wedding doesn’t mean they have to be in . yours! People change and grow apart. That’s OKAY! If you feel tension from a person that didn’t get selected from to be in your bridal party, take time to talk it out. Explain to them why you made that decision.

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Siblings aren’t a requirement.

If you don’t have a close relationship with your siblings or your significant other’s siblings, they don’t have to be in the wedding party. The most made up rule I have heard is that you have to include siblings. Nope, there aren’t any rules, especially that one.

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Quality over Quantity.

Choose the people who will meet ALL of the requirements. Don’t have 7 people standing up with you if some are so-so friends. You’d rather have 3 solid friends who will be helpful in the process and on the wedding day, than 7 friends who are just there to drink and abuse their role in your wedding.

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